Archive for Work

The Party Bus

My work rented a party bus for our big day in the city.  For some reason, we got a bus with a stripper pole for crackheads and trainables.

The End Of An Era

It’s always a sad day when a great career comes to an end but as we all know; everything that has a beginning, must have an ending. Luckily my awesome career that just ended wasn’t anything special in the first place unless incompetent management, low pay and bad hours are what make an exceptional workplace. I hope everyone that reads this pauses and gives me a moment of silence for my brief but unrewarding career at Safeway. There is one ray of hope though; now I can give details, including names of the incompetent managers and any other interesting tidbit I’d like to write about the place.

Have you ever had a boss who was a complete douche? I’m sure most people have and I thought I had too until I met Ryan, the general manager of the Safeway at Ignacio in good old Novato California. When I first met him he shook my hand and introduced himself like he was a good guy but after the 2 second “Hi, I’m Ryan, it’s good to have you with us,” he followed up with a “Your hair’s too long,” and “You need to wear a tie.” He walked away to do whatever it is lazy managers do and came back to me a few minutes later with a Hallmark Card hat(I conveniently lost it after a couple hours) which I was required to wear because people might be offended when they come in to buy food sometime between 11pm and 8am. Just when I thought he couldn’t top his previous level of douche baggery, he interrupted me from working and learning how to do my job to say “I’m not ragging on you. I’m just giving you the tools you need to succeed.” I listened to him talk almost in awe as he explained to me that he wasn’t making an ass of himself but he was helping me.

Not only was Ryan a complete corporate tool, but he didn’t abide by the terms of my employment. I was hired with the agreement that I wouldn’t be working Thursday nights but of course the first, second and third schedule he had made for me always had me working on that day. I called them up of course and had them correct the schedule, which was why I was let go later, each week but as we all know incompetent management can’t possibly understand the agreements that have been made to their employees.

I can’t say enough good things about who Ryan decided to surround himself with, his management staff was top notch. The only people more useless than him were the assistant managers. The assistant managers loved being the spotlight in our morning “huddle” and were always very positive and energetic hoping that their attitude would be contagious to the rest of the employees. We needed a meeting every morning so we were motivated to score well with secret shoppers so they could all get a big bonus at the end of the quarter. Every time I had a question or problem the assistant managers were the first people to defer their responsibilities as managers and point me to someone else. I would name them but they kept themselves locked in the front office for their entire shift so I didn’t even bother to learn their names.

Now I would also like to mention the nice corporate woman that hired me named Merissa. I should have known that she was almost completely incompetent and maybe all of the problems that lead up to my termination could have been prevented if she had bothered to pass on information to the store. It was obviously too much trouble to tell the store management that there was a new person starting who would be training in the store before I began to work for them. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she didn’t pass on the information about the night I couldn’t work, which would excuse some other people for their boobery if I didn’t let the dullards that manage about when I couldn’t work.

Finally we come to the end of my story. I was scheduled to work this morning and about 20 minutes into my shift I was called into the manager’s office. You may be thinking to yourself that, well at least Ryan was man enough to fire you himself but you’d be wrong. A short younger woman, who happened to be one of those useless assistant managers, asked me to sit down which I promptly did. She gave me a little speech about how I was still on probation and because of my attendance issues, they would have to let me go. I said to her “So you’re basically firing me because management mislead me on the terms and agreements we had made when I was hired?” She back peddled and told me that I should respect her and went off into some pointless rant trying to justify their decision. In a final little triumph she told me I had to give back my badass Safeway apron, an obvious personal victory for her that only showed how pathetic she was.

I’d like to be fair when I write these things so I would like to say there are some stores which I’ve heard are good and my experiences don’t reflect every store in the company but just in case, if you do think about applying for Safeway, be sure to keep what I’ve dealt with in mind.

New Job

I start my training tomorrow for my new job but I can’t help but keep asking myself  “Should I care about this job?”  I know that the work environment is horrible and there really aren’t too many jobs out there but still, how can a company expect their workers to do more than the minimal effort if they pay almost nothing?

After months of looking, I’ve finally gotten a job; not a job that I’m proud of or looking forward to but a job nonetheless.  Now I know you may be asking yourself:  “What is this jewel of a job?” or “Why aren’t you proud of it? Getting a job right now is quite an achievement these days.”  Well rest assured that I’m not going to lie to you about how it’s a step above working at Taco Bell or that it’s something that will provide me with hours of entertainment to make up for the low pay.  In fact, I won’t even hide the fact that this is something I’ve gotten to get off of unemployment, to do something somewhat productive and of course to get out of the house.

Why’s this job so bad you ask?

The first thing was that I have to be clean cut, which makes me look like a total ass.  There was a time, about a few days ago, where I had an awesome metal beard.  While some may think people with beards are to lazy to shave, which is true to an extent, but some people can pull them off.  The whole ordeal of shaving so I could be a corporate tool for no money was made even more difficult  by all of the complements that I had gotten the day before I had to shave.

Now that we’ve gotten the superficial reason out of the way, we can get into the more legit ones.  Take having to be in a union to work there.  Unions are pretty awesome as long as they work for you but to be in this one, I’d be basically working for free for at least a week so I can cover the initial dues.  Why would I want to pay dues to a union when I make so little money?  Is it so the employer can’t take advantage of me?  I thought working for no money and being extorted to shelling money out to be able to work somewhere is kind of abusive so that can’t be it.  Maybe it’s because the company is so horrible to work for that they would rape me more without the union.

The last thing that I’ll complain about tonight is that to even get a fancy shirt, I have to work there 2 months but until then, I have to wear a white collared dress shirt (thanks goodwill for the $2 shirt).  Is it too much to ask for a lame ass shirt that I can proudly display as I puff out my chest and walk through the store?  Apparently it is, which means if I can’t even get a $3 polo shirt for free; I won’t be able to get the supplies I need to do my job.

Well in the end, it’s a job until I can get something better.  I can already picture how rewarding it will be to give a one day notice unless my demands are met once I’ve found something better.  Who knows, maybe I’ll find a way to make this whole endeavor worthwhile.

  • Tender Sentiments