The End Of An Era

It’s always a sad day when a great career comes to an end but as we all know; everything that has a beginning, must have an ending. Luckily my awesome career that just ended wasn’t anything special in the first place unless incompetent management, low pay and bad hours are what make an exceptional workplace. I hope everyone that reads this pauses and gives me a moment of silence for my brief but unrewarding career at Safeway. There is one ray of hope though; now I can give details, including names of the incompetent managers and any other interesting tidbit I’d like to write about the place.

Have you ever had a boss who was a complete douche? I’m sure most people have and I thought I had too until I met Ryan, the general manager of the Safeway at Ignacio in good old Novato California. When I first met him he shook my hand and introduced himself like he was a good guy but after the 2 second “Hi, I’m Ryan, it’s good to have you with us,” he followed up with a “Your hair’s too long,” and “You need to wear a tie.” He walked away to do whatever it is lazy managers do and came back to me a few minutes later with a Hallmark Card hat(I conveniently lost it after a couple hours) which I was required to wear because people might be offended when they come in to buy food sometime between 11pm and 8am. Just when I thought he couldn’t top his previous level of douche baggery, he interrupted me from working and learning how to do my job to say “I’m not ragging on you. I’m just giving you the tools you need to succeed.” I listened to him talk almost in awe as he explained to me that he wasn’t making an ass of himself but he was helping me.

Not only was Ryan a complete corporate tool, but he didn’t abide by the terms of my employment. I was hired with the agreement that I wouldn’t be working Thursday nights but of course the first, second and third schedule he had made for me always had me working on that day. I called them up of course and had them correct the schedule, which was why I was let go later, each week but as we all know incompetent management can’t possibly understand the agreements that have been made to their employees.

I can’t say enough good things about who Ryan decided to surround himself with, his management staff was top notch. The only people more useless than him were the assistant managers. The assistant managers loved being the spotlight in our morning “huddle” and were always very positive and energetic hoping that their attitude would be contagious to the rest of the employees. We needed a meeting every morning so we were motivated to score well with secret shoppers so they could all get a big bonus at the end of the quarter. Every time I had a question or problem the assistant managers were the first people to defer their responsibilities as managers and point me to someone else. I would name them but they kept themselves locked in the front office for their entire shift so I didn’t even bother to learn their names.

Now I would also like to mention the nice corporate woman that hired me named Merissa. I should have known that she was almost completely incompetent and maybe all of the problems that lead up to my termination could have been prevented if she had bothered to pass on information to the store. It was obviously too much trouble to tell the store management that there was a new person starting who would be training in the store before I began to work for them. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she didn’t pass on the information about the night I couldn’t work, which would excuse some other people for their boobery if I didn’t let the dullards that manage about when I couldn’t work.

Finally we come to the end of my story. I was scheduled to work this morning and about 20 minutes into my shift I was called into the manager’s office. You may be thinking to yourself that, well at least Ryan was man enough to fire you himself but you’d be wrong. A short younger woman, who happened to be one of those useless assistant managers, asked me to sit down which I promptly did. She gave me a little speech about how I was still on probation and because of my attendance issues, they would have to let me go. I said to her “So you’re basically firing me because management mislead me on the terms and agreements we had made when I was hired?” She back peddled and told me that I should respect her and went off into some pointless rant trying to justify their decision. In a final little triumph she told me I had to give back my badass Safeway apron, an obvious personal victory for her that only showed how pathetic she was.

I’d like to be fair when I write these things so I would like to say there are some stores which I’ve heard are good and my experiences don’t reflect every store in the company but just in case, if you do think about applying for Safeway, be sure to keep what I’ve dealt with in mind.


  1. Larry Gauthier says:

    I can tell by your “blog” that you are a tool. Thank god Safeway fired ur lazy ass.

  2. me, duh! says:

    Is the above comment a joke? Uh, anyway…that was fucking hilarious. It is rare for me to write “LOL” somewhere after actually laughing out loud…but here it would be appropriate.

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