Tag Archive for Women

The Tree

 

 

Directed by: Julie Bertuccelli

Written by:  Judy Pascoe, Julie Bertuccelli, Elizabeth J Mars

Produced by:  Sue Taylor, Yael Fogiel

Starring:  Charlotte Gainsbourg, Morgana Davies. Marton Csokas

Run Time: 100 minutes

 

The Tree is like going to a friend’s house where the only entertainment is their toddler playing with Legos.  The box that shows what’s supposed to be built, maybe a car or robot, looks like it could be interesting but as you watch the child build, all that’s there is a square which doesn’t resemble anything close to what it could be.  The toddler throws away the head of all the interesting characters minutes after opening the box just like the film does where all the characters (two of them) with a personality are tossed aside.  The Tree is entertaining for the first few moments while you try to figure out what could possibly happen but in the end nothing is created.  The Tree can be described in three words: “Waste of time.”

 

Most people would think that a movie about a woman who loses her husband would be a film about self discovery and healing her broken family but there’s nothing remotely resembling that in the movie.  Instead, The Tree feels more like an episode of The Family Guy where random events happen but they aren’t really funny.  Instead of a plot there’s just moments which are supposed to give the viewer some sense of a story.  Due to the lack of plot and story the viewer is left with little or no emotional investment in the characters which is a huge problem if the viewer is looking for a memorable film.

 

The story itself is supposed to be about how the main characters husband dies (you may notice that I’m not using the characters name.  This is done because she’s so bland that you forget it anyways) and his spirit comes back to live in a tree.  The husband, whatever his name is, (who could have been an interesting character if he didn’t die at the beginning) was perfect in every way.  He was handsome, took care of the family and the best lover on earth as we learn in a pointless conversation right after he dies.  All of his good traits must have died with him because the tree that his spirit inhabits just causes problems throughout the film and at one point even falls through the bedroom of his forgettable wife after she connects with another man.  Of course a guy as great as him wouldn’t want his family to move on or find happiness, he wants to cling to their misery and ruin their lives.  The whole concept is just plain stupid and worst of all, doesn’t make sense when you take into account how perfect the husband’s character is supposed to be.

 

Even the photography and imagery only enhances the blandness of the movie.  The color tone of the movie is dull and there’s little of no color in the film which doesn’t make it enjoyable to look at.  There are some parts of the move where the director puts in some imagery which just looks horribly cliché.   The biggest example of the imagery is the wilted flowers on a nightstand of the woman’s bed when she’s depressed.  The only image that does stick in one’s mind is how many teeth the main character has in her goofy smile and that’s something nature did, not the director.

 

The saving grace for The Tree is that the actors all do an excellent job in their roles which makes the movie watchable instead of complete garbage.  As unmemorable as the characters are, they’re not badly acted so it’s difficult to hate the film for all of its flaws.  Given the story, even an Oscar winning actor couldn’t make this film worth watching so look for the two main actresses in other films which may actually make use of their ability in a noticeable way.

 

The Tree isn’t really worth watching unless you have absolutely nothing better to do.  It’s the kind of a movie that you’d watch if the dvd was there and you need some background noise while you figure something else out to do.  Personally my advice to you is, if you must watch this movie, wait for the film to come out on dvd then watch the first 10 minutes to get the basic plot.  After you’ve grasped the basic idea, fast forward to halfway through the movie and watch it again for another 10 minutes so you’ve caught up on the story.  Finally fast forward to the last 10 minutes of the movie so you can see the ending.  Watching the movie this way may sound like you’re going to miss a lot but the plot you come up with for yourself as you put the pieces together will be much more interesting and rewarding than the movie could ever be.  If there was any justice in the world, The Tree would be shipped out to the slums of India where it would be at home with all of the other things that no one cares about.

 

(4.5/10)

Awesome Craigslist Spam

My wife needs love
Sometimes I post weird ads on Craigslist just to see what kind of responses I get. This is my new favorite spam email.

Hi, I have seen your CL classified. My name is John and I am wondering if you wanted to having intercourse with my wife. A quick story with the situation–I was had an accident about a year ago while working so I am unable to have satisfying intercourse. I had an intimate relationship with her… but can’t anymore. She has needs and desires I just can’t do anymore. Don’t get me wrong, we still love each other, but I want her to be happy.

She’s DD free, 26 and very intimate so you can see what my problem is. Hopefully you can help us. We’re looking for a man who can come to our place (or she can come to yours) and be intimate with her on a regular basis, no strings attached. I won’t be around so it won’t be weird haha. I have attached a picture of us. We are serious and real about this. We saw your ad on the SF bay area page and we live near you.

I’ll explain more but I’m at work right now. Please ONLY if you are interested, mail me back with just a yes. Again, only if you are interested… otherwise I’d have to ask someone else. I appreciate it.

Men Are Sissies

I was reading another blog, which is attached to our local newspaper, where a woman was writing about how men didn’t approach her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear at bars. Now I have no idea if the woman is attractive or not, her writing seemed like it would appeal to a “witty” female audience more so than a men but something captivated me about it either way. I assumed that this woman was sexy in my mind as I pondered why her and her friends had such a hard time finding the love or one night stands they were desperately looking for as they sat at their table cackling about designer clothes. Suddenly, after about two seconds, the answer came to me; the reason why men don’t hit on women anymore is because men are taught to be sissies since we were born. That’s right, in the name of equality and feminism, men have been taught that they need to be weak and sensitive instead of teaching women to be strong and independent.

Our schools are tools for spreading the sensitivity and equality so when a boy goes to school he’s filled with all of ways he’s supposed to treat women. When I was a student, I remember having to go through many classes where I learned that hurting some ones feelings was wrong, not to mention all of the lectures I got when I was kicked out of my classes. One of my favorite speeches that I got in school was in my high school gym class; an older woman and a man told us about how we shouldn’t judge girls by the way they look. “A lot of men look at a girl in a skirt and think ‘Ohhh she wants it.’” They explained to the class. The way the trainers should have handled the calls would be to tell the girls, “When you wear clothes like that, men think you’re a slut. If you don’t like men thinking that about you, wear something else.” Of course it was always the guys fault for noticing a girl’s skimpy outfits instead of the girl for wearing something so revealing.

One of my favorite things when I start a new job is the sexual harassment training that everyone gets before we can start working. The training always seems to be some computer game where a picture of a guy sitting at a desk surrounded by things that might offend someone, like a bikini calendar, for you to find and read about why those items are offensive. After that exercise, there’s usually some multiple choice questions about if something is appropriate in the workplace. Just like in school, the thing that’s missing is the part about how women can take responsibility for the way people look at them by not acting unprofessionally which doesn’t matter of course since all a girl has to do is take a little trip to hr and the offending male pig is instantly fired.

What women fail to realize is that there are no strong men out there because the consequences of being a strong man are usually too extreme and detrimental to their lifestyle. Everything that makes a man a man is frowned upon in society, work and schools creating a climate where men are forced to change what he is in order to survive. Society doesn’t recognize that men and women are different, that we do things differently and we’ve evolved for different roles; nor does it recognize that we learn in different ways. Men have always been aggressive and learned in physical ways while women tend to learn more through speaking.

In the end, as logic would dictate, men are trained not to talk to women in social and working situations which makes everyone suffer. Women complain that there aren’t any real men out there and men are unhappy since we’re trained to be something we’re not. Men need to remember that women aren’t as special as they think they are and women need to understand that men generally only talk to you because they want a little action. In reality men really don’t care about those little stories women have about themselves or their girlfriends, we just listen because we’ve been told that’s what women want. So the next time women out there complain, if you’re a guy you’ve already learned to disregard any of their points, take the time to look at why men are the way they are.

Check out the video below to see exactly why men are afraid to be what they are and be sure to notice how clueless the woman is but for some reason people take her opinion seriously.

  • Tender Sentiments